Changes.

So, I know where I'm moving now. It took 2 emails and a phone call, but I got there. They've reinstated my place at International House, and I move in on Sunday. This gave me 2 days (today and tomorrow) in which to get last minute stuff and finish off my packing.

It's a weird feeling, leaving home. Bittersweet I believe is the operative word. On the one hand, I am so pumped to be in full control of my life. To answer to myself and fully accept all of the consequences. To be living in Inner City; -I finally get to seriously party. It's such a liberating feeling, packing your suitcase, knowing that you'll never permanently live at home again.

And yet, that point brings me sweetly to my next; For nigh on 18 years I've been living at home. I'm used to the comfortability, the safety. Even the silly arguements with my Mother. There is not a doubt in my mind that I'm ready, I could've probably coped 2 years ago, but now I really want it. Staying at home is... hard. It's weird when the day you've pined for since you were 8 and your parents grounded you for a perfectly respectable reason, which back then was so uncool and annoying, has finally arrived.

I got my "best" shot today, incidentally I have to have 2 more. Oh the joys.

X

So I might be moving on Friday. Where to I still don't know.
I'm stressed.

Uhh. Yeah.

X

Girly.

I rarily feel like this. But lately I'm feeling more and more like it. It's surging endorphins, I know this because you get it when you sing. And by sing, I mean really really sing. And you feel awesome, and alive and on top of the world.
I'm terribly happy. I'm in a state of constant butterflies.

I think I found the drive I needed. I've never felt so motivated.

X

Stunned, Take 2.

I am so sorry. No one should have to hear that on Valentines Day, or on any day for that matter. I still don't quite believe what happened, and the amount of faith I have lost in the parties involved is astronomical.

You, I love you, you know I do, and I will support what ever decision you make. But I won't let you get bent out of shape, I know you're the one that everyones going to latch on to, because that's what happens when you're Switzerland. But in this case, you need to seriously bias that neutrality. I hate to say "don't trust him as far as you can throw him", but he's crossed a line, and by crossing one of us, like that, well... you know how I feel about it.

You. I don't know how you could betray a friend like that. I know what you've said before, but if you really value a person as a friend, you certainly don't pull the stunt you did. For as long as you did, and still be CALM around them. That's the one thing I can't get over. You saw him last week, you complete fuckwit. How could you face him, any of us, knowing what you were doing behind his back? And for that matter, what the fuck did you think was going to happen? That life would be all sparkly? It'd end and no one would ever know?
You complete selfish fuck.

No one deserves that betrayl. You both should feel utterly ashamed of yourselves. I don't know which of you I'm more disappointed and disgusted in. Well yes, I do, because you supposedly loved him. Which, I can't for the life of me grasp that concept. Because you don't DO that to the people you care about. Ever. You both deserve flogging and disowning. Be grateful I'm not there, I'd have torn you a new one. Make no mistake.

Words cannot describe how disappointed, disgusted, and utterly pissed off I am.

X

Colours

I decided to make a post about colours I need to buy clothing in. I am a colour whore. Maybe that says something about how unsensible I am. Oh well, watch me care.
I need all of these colours in my life, they're warm, vibrant and fit my complexion perfectly. There's something about colour that makes me get warm fuzzies. And I never used to be like that, terribly drab... black. Oh so much black. Or jeans, All year round. I wore jeans yesterday (because it rained and was cold) which was the first time in Lord knows how long. I'm really keen for some Mustard Yellow, and Burnt Orange. And Emerald Green. People, direct me away from the Teals, which is fast becoming my favourite colour on me (it's the hair and eye colour of mine that does it), and make me buy some Emerald Green. I want it soooo bad. And they've just brought in all the Winter Season colours. I am so bummed.

My wallet is not going to be feeling my wrath this winter.

X

Utterly Stunned.

So I just found out that a guy who I've known since I was a kid, is having a baby. Weirder still, he's naming the little girl what I always intended to name my first girl; Eve. I think he'll make an awesome father, there's no doubt about that, but it's just... stunning news. I dunno how I feel, reality check that everyone is getting so much older than I remember. I wish you all the luck in the world.

It's any wonder that I'm not stressed to the max right now. When I originally applied for residence, they denied me in my first choice, and then placed me in another hall. This was back in September. Yesterday, I get an email to say that they're considering moving me again, as they have too many people for the halls, and they'll let me know either way early next week. Bearing in mind, they emailed me along with the Director of the hall I was meant to be in. Don't you just love organisation?

I'm supposed to be moving in in 9 days. I'd rather like no more surprises in the next week. But knowing this country, they've got more in store for me.

In other news, Mother is beginning to realise that she's got 1 week left of me. And then I'm gone. And I'm never gonna be living at home again. Maybe the odd weekend here and there. But she's gotta let her baby go.

Bet you can guess the fun and games that are going on in our house right now.

X

Sporadic!

Yes, yes I know. But lets face it, those of you who read this, all know me. Which is also the irony, I use X as my alias, partially for anonymity, but mainly as I like the history of "X".
The way people who didn't know how to spell their names, or were not... noble enough to have a name signed documents with "X". And generally, none of whom were caucasian. I rather enjoy taking the piss out of my own race. Everyone else does it without consequence, why can't I?

Fine. I give up. I can't organise my thoughts. :( Oh well. I'll finish this later.

X

Oh Lordy, Lordi.

Sooo, I've had a seriously long week, made all the more longer by 6+ hour chats every night. Not that I'm complaining, I'm actually sleeping better than I have in a long time. So, like I've said before, thank you.

My uncle was in a car accident, he's okay. Am still worried about him though, it makes being half a world away astronomically hard.

Dad's surgery has been pushed forward, it's now going down 5 days before I move. Oh the joys of a clusterfuck life. Not complaining though, the sooner the better imo.

I don't really have much I can write about. I well I do, I'm just not in a mood TO write... Got better things to do. And I'm happy. Happiness is always a bonus.

You sleep so adorably.

X

I don't like Mondays

Soooo work blew. Yeah. I'm tired, cold and hungry.
So I'm going to be lame and copy paste my day;
[20:04] X: But I got a lot of stuff done today, so the hours went fast.
[20:05] X: Then mum dropped one on me which was (at 6 when I want to go home) that she has to go for practice at a sport thinger.
[20:05] X: Sooo I just got home.
[20:06] X: And mum's A/C made my feet so cold that they are actually aching.
[20:06] X: And shivering,
[20:07] X: BUT on the up side.
[20:08] X: I bought a fookin' awesome photo frame
[20:09] X: it's magnetic
[20:09] X: And bright
[20:09] X: and circly
[20:09] X: Its coooool

I also got hit on by a very nice 70+ year old. So my day is complete. :/

X