Reunion.

You worry me. More than anyone else. Maybe it's because I trust everyone to take relatively good care of themselves. You just have a tendancy to do shit and worry about the consequences later. I mean, 4 high speed crashes with no seatbelt? And your still alive? Relatively unscathed? Come on, dude, you gotta know how that feels to hear. I'm not going to harp on, you know how much I care about you, but when I saw you today, it was more joy to see you still in one piece. Every day I see you is a true gift, I just wish you'd see it the same way.

It was interesting seeing you today, I didn't know how well I'd hold it together after our previous conversation. However, I don't even know how well this plan of yours will play out, seeing as how me and the person in question sorta aren't talking at the moment. Which, if you ever read this, saddens me greatly. You were a good friend, even if you did have a tendancy to fuck me about. You listened when I needed, gave advice when I asked, and made me smile when I hadn't all day. I don't think we stopped on a bad note, but it wasn't particularly positive either. If I muster courage, I might call you tonight. But breakfast was remarkably decent, we caught up, I'm so glad you're doing so much more with yourself. Congratulations :)

I've just made yet again another confession today. Don't know how well this ones going to play out, as a general rule, they all end badly. Yet I continue to do it. It nags at me, and burns a hole in the back of my mind if I don't, I've had too many experiences where the person found out through someone else, and then you never know what they truely know. So in a way, by me telling them, they only know as much as I want them to know. And I can rest easy knowing we're on the same page. I know I worry too much, everyone who has ever gotten close enough to my weary little soul mentions it at some point. But I don't think I'd be X without it.
Or at least, that's what I tell myself.

Forgive me, Father.

X